It just so happens that one of the phones I own, with a SIM card in it, is not really a phone. At least, I don’t see it as a phone. Hello Magritte. Ceci n’est pas un téléphone. This is a 3G-enabled micro tablet. No mi amor, sorry ah, gomen ne, not a phone. I know, it has a phone number, and technically, this number could be called. And is, by plenty of people I never heard of. Except. This old Nexus S has a nifty application called Firewall, and it is set on “Block All Calls”. Yup, all. Plus, the dial icon is hidden. As I said, not a phone. A micro tablet. Yupskies.

Now, on the subject of calling, and expecting me to answer. MWAHAHAHA! Really. Apparently my phone numbers (including the one that I never pick up because Firewall just hangs up on them) have been sold multiple times by everybody and Mrs Chan, their mother. And they’ve been sold to everybody and Mrs Lee, their Auntie. Apparently. And they think they have a right to peddle their crap to me, through calls and SMS.

The problem is compounded by the fact that I have a phone with THREE phone numbers in the SIM card: HK, China, Macau. The Macau number has not been sold to anyone apparently, for I never get any phones calls from Macau — just the usual avalanche of Casino-related SMS every time I arrive in this cesspool of gambling and prostitution. But I digress, again. On the other hand, I get a bazillion of phone calls on the HK number, and calls + SMS on the Chinese number.

Some of the Chinese SMS are hilarious: love letters from “my wife” (they call me 老公, so that’s my wives, right?); people giving me their (updated) bank account so that I don’t forget to send them the money I apparently owe them (I always feel like sending them a goatsee pic entitled “receipt.pdf” but so far I managed not to…); announcements for various exhibitions and events.

I picked up a couple of calls from China, just for kicks, but they weren’t much fun. No spweekee Engriss. And most of the time 唔識講白話 either. So now phone calls from Big6 are treated like other calls:

• Unknown Number: nofanks.
• Number not in my (very large) address book: nofanks.
• Number in my address book: depends. Maybe, maybe not. Probably not, though.

Also, my phone doesn’t ring. Yeah, the one that actually accepts calls. It doesn’t vibrate either. It’s set on silent. Permanently. When I get a phone call — assuming I haven’t turned the network off and just kept WiFi on of course… — the screen display the call and info, and that’s it. No ringee. No vibree. Terima kasih.

Of course, since I spend a large fraction of my time on the phone — mostly emails and chat applications though — I miss (involuntarily) very few calls. And the ones I do miss, so what? They can call again — they’ll have to, as I don’t have voicemail, despite the fact that some people think I do: they heard some Chinese and a beep. Well, learn yerself some Chinese, buddy, for that message was not a voicemail announcement: it was telling you that I am not unavailable, and to try again later. Woopsies.

WHY?!?

(Yeah, the dude next to me is reading 賽馬 rags…)

成 sing4, seng4, cing4. finished.

When the palace was finished,

選 syun2. to choose, select.

民 man4. People, citizen.
間 gaaan1. space, interval.

–> citizens

少 siu3/2. Few, less.
女 neoi5. girl

–> young girl

八 baat3. 8
人 jan4. Man. Person

–> 800+ girls

Dong Zhuo selected (forcibly) eight hundred young girls or more

充 cung1. to fill, full, supply
作 zok3. to make, work, perform.

–> supplied to work as

娥 ngo4. beautiful. good
彩 coi2. colour(ful).
–> 彩女 (lower-rank) maids in the palace.

And sent them to work as maids in the palace.

至 zi3. to reach, arrive
於 wu1, jyu1. in at oon.
從 zung6/cung4/sung1. from, by, since, whence, through
–> as for

搜 sau2/1. search, seek; investigate
刮 gwaat3. shave, pare off, scrape
–> plundered, seized

來 loi4/6, lai4. to come, return.

財 coi3. valuables, riches, possessions.
物 mat6 thing, substance, creature.
–> resources/property

更 ga(a)ng1. ang1. further, more.
是 si6. this. yes.

其 kei4. that, his/her/its.
數 sou3/2, sok3. number, several.

As for the property/resources seized from the public/civilians, they were innumerable.

僅 gan2/6. Only, merely, just.

囤 tyun4, deon6. grain basket.
積 zik1. accumulate, store up.
糧 loeng4. food, grain, provisions
食 sik6. eat, food
–> the accumulated/stored up provisions (food)

便 bin6, pin4. convenient, expedient.
足 zuk1, zeoi3. foot; enough.
夠 gau3. enough.
用 jung6. to use.
年 nin4. year

Just the accumulated food was enough to last 20 years.

強 koeng4/5, goeng6. Strong.
迫 baak1/3, bik1. Coerce. Busy.
–> Forcefully installed.

獻 hin3. Offer, present. Display.
帝 dai3. Emperor
–> Emperor Xian. Puppet of Dong Zhuo.

遷 cin1. To move, transfer.
都 dou1. Capital
–> Changed the capital to:

長 coeng4. Long.
安 on1. Peace.
–> Chang’An

以 ji5
後 hau6. After.

After Dong Zhuo installed Emperor Xian on the throne, and moved the Capital to Chang’An,

征 zing1. Invade. Conquered.
了 liu5. Past particle.
–> Captured.

二 ji6. 2
十 sap6. 10
五 ng5. 5
萬 maan1. 10K
–> 250,000

民 man4. People.
夫 fu1/4. Man, adult man. Those.
–> Men.

He captured 250,000 men,

在 zoi6. At.
離 lei4/6. Depart. Separate.
百 baak3. 100
多 do1. Numerous. Several.
里 lei5. Distance unit. Village.
–> At 100+ li away.

的 dik1. Genitive.

地 dei6. Place.
方 fong1. Region.
–> Place

另 ling6. Another. Separate.
築 zuk1. Build(ing).

郿 mei4. County in Shaanxi.
塢 wu2. Enbankment. Low wall.
城 sing4, seng4. Castle, town.

–> Meiwu (name of the new city)

建 gin1. Build.
造 zou6, cou3/5. Build. Begin. Prepare.
–> Build

宮 gung1. Palace. Temple.
室 sat1. Room. Place.
–> Palace

規 kwai1. Rules. Law.
模 mou4. Model, pattern. Copy.
–> Size, format.

和 wo6/4. Peace. Harmony. And.
–> with

京 ging1. Capital city.

不 bat1. Not.
相 soeng1. Mutual. Each other.
上 soeng6/5. Up/top, superior. Go/send up.
下 haa6/5. Bottom, below, inferior. Send down.
–> comparable, equivalent

sent them to a place 100 li or more from there, and had a new city built, Meiwu, and a palace comparable to the one in the capital.

* SCV x 2 – mining
* SCV to build depot
* SCV
* SCV
* Depot is built – build refinery
* SCV x 3
* Refinery is built – build Engineering
* Divert 3 SCV to gas mining
* More SCVs (I’ll have 21 by the time I’m full speed)
* Engineering is built, build depot
* More SCVs
* Depot is built build second refinery
* Base upgrade to fortress
* Refinering is built divert 3 SCVs
* the SCV that built refinery goes to build 2nd base
* Divert one SCV to start building Barracks
* Divert SCVs to build turrets by the truckload, while building more miners on my bases.
* Build Factory, then Armory.
Upgrade tech as often as possible.

In the end I’ll have 2 bases (or 3 if opponent is a slow, strong building type), 2/3 Barracks, 1 Factory, 2 Spaceports. And maybe 2 Engineerings if I hv the time. I’ll build 50 infantry units (mostly Marines, Thors, tanks mostly for defense), 20 banshees, sometimes some Battleships. I might skip banshees for a change and go Battleships all the way. Or if the opponent is Terran and builds Battleships, Vikings by the truckload: 2/3 spaceports building 2 Vikings each simultaneously. Amazing how 20 well upgraded Vikings can tear apart Battleships…

There are adjustments made to this strategy depending on who I’m fighting — not just the race, but the actual person. Some dudes I seem to see a lot and know how they fight. So I have a better idea of what (not) to do.

Now the bucket list – you’ll notice there isn’t anything in Europe. And of course some of the “visited” countries could also go into the want to visit (again) bucket list.

Most of these countries are in South-East Asia and the Pacific – Laos, Burma, all these funny Pacific Islands, OZ, NZ, Nouvelle Calédonie, Easter Island, Tahiti, etc. Plus Chile, Argentina and Mexico.

Q1: Ever been stopped at the Airport Immigration? What happened?
In the US. See this story.

Q2: Most treasured visa in the passport and why?
Chinese visa. Costs an arm and a leg and takes 5 days to renew.

Q3: What’s the funniest question you ever got at immigration?
Why are you in this lane? Seoul.

Q4: Have you ever been refused a visa and been given the weirdest reason as to why?
China, once in 2008, once in 2010. For being French. Seriously.

Q5: Do you think it’s fair that the world is not open to travel by everyone?
Fair doesn’t enter the equation. Life ain’t fair. Deal with it.

I could use a few questions of my own:

• What’s the fastest immigration you’ve been through? (HK, of course. But as a tourist, Kuala Lumpur)
• Longest, most tedious immigration? (Honolulu and Bangkok; Saigon a close 3rd)
• Nastiest Immigration officers? (USA, constantly; China & Korea, best and worst)
• Most ridiculous visa requirements? (China)